A 12-Pack in Each Empty Hand
Soooo, had to come down from Mount Olympus last week. Thought I'd pick up the RV - since he's been waiting for me since MARCH. Scooped up a friend, 'cause driving the G-Masheen and my car simultaneously would have been tricky. Stopped on the way to pick up a case of beer, 'cause Willie likes beer, and he's been babysittin for some months now.
Get to Willie's, and fall in love again. Dont know what it is about this Heap, but we have a connection. Friend says, "Are you hugging the truck?" "NO!" I says, I whisper "yes." Unfortunately, G wasnt ready to come with me. Friend got him started, but he wouldnt stay cranked (i think "crunk" is the wrong form here).
"This thing here on the carburator (whatever) should close, like this. And it's so stuck, that wouldnt happen in a few months."
Suspicion, tears us apart...I'm thinking Willie jacked my carburator (whatever) and stuck it on the other RV he's got sitting in the back. I try to stay upbeat, G is helping 'cause he's so cute. And suspicion just cant bring good things.
So I call up Willie, he doesnt answer. And as I'm waiting for the voice mail to kick on, I'm mustering my best we're-still-friendly-but-dont-fck-with-me voice. I say,
"Willay - tried to get the camper today. wouldnt stay cranked. my buddy says its the carburator (whatever), or maybe the fuel pump. I left you a case of beer, help me out."
Willie doesnt call back. (You are beginning to understand why this process has taken 8 months) Yesterday, I call Willie. (You may meet Willie on your travels - he drives a cab here in town. If you gotta squint to understand him, and he walks with a limp - thats Willie.) I say,
"Willay - what's the word?"
"mgasldkjmfakljfmgmgjjrm"
"Say that again?"
"I got a carburator (whatever), but I aint cranked it up yet 'cause I aint put it on. You can be here this weekend?"
"I'm here this weekend. I can come by - call me when youre ready."
"That carburator (?) cost me $50, now."
"All right. call me."
So G and I have a chaperoned date this weekend. Im going to try to remember the camera.
Get to Willie's, and fall in love again. Dont know what it is about this Heap, but we have a connection. Friend says, "Are you hugging the truck?" "NO!" I says, I whisper "yes." Unfortunately, G wasnt ready to come with me. Friend got him started, but he wouldnt stay cranked (i think "crunk" is the wrong form here).
"This thing here on the carburator (whatever) should close, like this. And it's so stuck, that wouldnt happen in a few months."
Suspicion, tears us apart...I'm thinking Willie jacked my carburator (whatever) and stuck it on the other RV he's got sitting in the back. I try to stay upbeat, G is helping 'cause he's so cute. And suspicion just cant bring good things.
So I call up Willie, he doesnt answer. And as I'm waiting for the voice mail to kick on, I'm mustering my best we're-still-friendly-but-dont-fck-with-me voice. I say,
"Willay - tried to get the camper today. wouldnt stay cranked. my buddy says its the carburator (whatever), or maybe the fuel pump. I left you a case of beer, help me out."
Willie doesnt call back. (You are beginning to understand why this process has taken 8 months) Yesterday, I call Willie. (You may meet Willie on your travels - he drives a cab here in town. If you gotta squint to understand him, and he walks with a limp - thats Willie.) I say,
"Willay - what's the word?"
"mgasldkjmfakljfmgmgjjrm"
"Say that again?"
"I got a carburator (whatever), but I aint cranked it up yet 'cause I aint put it on. You can be here this weekend?"
"I'm here this weekend. I can come by - call me when youre ready."
"That carburator (?) cost me $50, now."
"All right. call me."
So G and I have a chaperoned date this weekend. Im going to try to remember the camera.
posted by greenthnkng @ 8:29 AM
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