Consolation, or Drama Pt2
We pull out of Willie's yard onto the highway. I apologize for the scene he has just witnessed. He says,
"Aw thats nuthin." And proceeds to tell this story, about halfway through I am crying (which, okay, is not a blue moon occurrence). I am sure that he tells it better, so just bear with me - it's the mental picture that really brings this one home.
He - we'll call him Tony, and a friend - we'll call him Aaron, are approached by another friend - we'll call him Jay. Jay requests they help him help his girlfriend move. Okay, they say.
A little background - Jay is apparently a very large friend, and not known for bright ideas. Also, Jay drives a white, last-leg, Mercury Tracer. The pick-up is to take place in Hickville, USA. From what I gathered, Tony is the only piece of colored folk around.
They pull up to the girl's house, Jay goes inside. He and the girl (who is also quite large) come running out. And the girl's HUSBAND comes running out after them, hollering,
"You aint takin my old lady!" And brandishing a 44 Magnum. He commenses to shooting at everybody.
Tony yells for Aaron to get in the front seat and drive! (They had both previously been in the back seat.) So Aaron jumps over the seat and floors it in reverse. Not feeling the speed he wanted, Tony flies to the floor and puts his hand on Aaron's foot which is on the pedal, pressed to the floor.
So they are making their getaway at 20 MPH in reverse. So slowly in fact, that they watch through the windshield as Jay (large man) gains on the car - CATCHES it, and jumps in.
I can only imagine that Mr. 44 Magnum was already drunk that day, or maybe had a peg leg. Apparently, either way he was a bad shot. Nobody was hurt. But they were a tad jostled.
They go to the local Sheriff's Office to report the shooting. The deputies are all much more interested in Tony, what he was doing in town, and how he was connected with the shooting, than anything else. At the end of a story that I can imagine they didnt hear much of, the Sheriff says,
"Well aint that (enter redneck name here). And aint that his old lady? What the hell d'ya'll esspect?! I suggest you get on outta here before he reloads and finds you."
Back, miraculously, in one piece later that afternoon. They re-enter the pool they had been lounging in before Jay's errand, and decide not to help Jay move a another girlfriend.
Classic, or what?
"Aw thats nuthin." And proceeds to tell this story, about halfway through I am crying (which, okay, is not a blue moon occurrence). I am sure that he tells it better, so just bear with me - it's the mental picture that really brings this one home.
He - we'll call him Tony, and a friend - we'll call him Aaron, are approached by another friend - we'll call him Jay. Jay requests they help him help his girlfriend move. Okay, they say.
A little background - Jay is apparently a very large friend, and not known for bright ideas. Also, Jay drives a white, last-leg, Mercury Tracer. The pick-up is to take place in Hickville, USA. From what I gathered, Tony is the only piece of colored folk around.
They pull up to the girl's house, Jay goes inside. He and the girl (who is also quite large) come running out. And the girl's HUSBAND comes running out after them, hollering,
"You aint takin my old lady!" And brandishing a 44 Magnum. He commenses to shooting at everybody.
Tony yells for Aaron to get in the front seat and drive! (They had both previously been in the back seat.) So Aaron jumps over the seat and floors it in reverse. Not feeling the speed he wanted, Tony flies to the floor and puts his hand on Aaron's foot which is on the pedal, pressed to the floor.
So they are making their getaway at 20 MPH in reverse. So slowly in fact, that they watch through the windshield as Jay (large man) gains on the car - CATCHES it, and jumps in.
I can only imagine that Mr. 44 Magnum was already drunk that day, or maybe had a peg leg. Apparently, either way he was a bad shot. Nobody was hurt. But they were a tad jostled.
They go to the local Sheriff's Office to report the shooting. The deputies are all much more interested in Tony, what he was doing in town, and how he was connected with the shooting, than anything else. At the end of a story that I can imagine they didnt hear much of, the Sheriff says,
"Well aint that (enter redneck name here). And aint that his old lady? What the hell d'ya'll esspect?! I suggest you get on outta here before he reloads and finds you."
Back, miraculously, in one piece later that afternoon. They re-enter the pool they had been lounging in before Jay's errand, and decide not to help Jay move a another girlfriend.
Classic, or what?
posted by greenthnkng @ 11:10 AM
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