Dammit. OK

I, of course, feel the need to qualify that last post. It wasnt all skunk shit back home and it aint all golden roses here.

The last night in Tallahassee, I got anxious. For days before, I couldnt wait to leave. Suddenly I wanted to be near my family and friends, I wasnt sure if California was the right decision. I asked my sister (mi Tita!) if going to school for poetry was "stupid." At that moment, I really wasnt sure. She answered like only she could, fortifying me. I felt her honesty, her belief in me. And I was healed.

I cannot recreate that connection, and I would not trade it for anything I might find. So though this path carries me from the source of family I've gathered around me, and the lights are brighter out here, the opportunities wider, my step a bit more energetic, and though I cant hide my excitement at actually having left, there are gifts I treasure and expect to keep.

It's me back there that I dont miss. I brought it here too - first chance I got, took up someone else's problem and filled my days with it. The round trip and the soul connections got me back on track. So in this new year, I make them proud. I begin the me they sent me off to be; and since I carry them with me, I dont have to look back.